my sense of ironic detatchment brings all the boys to the yard

informal survey--help!

Sun, 16 Jul 2006 13:44:58 GMT

I sang at a church every Sunday from January to May. It was a Congregational church, a UCC. The minister said, on Easter Sunday, that in our modern, scientific age, it's hard to believe in the bodily resurrection of Christ, but that didn't matter. What mattered was the message of renewal and hope. My jaw dropped and I thought "WHAT?!" I was shocked at the notion that you could "be" Christian--call yourself Christian--without believing in in the miracles of Christ.

I had a conversation with my boyfriend about it. He said I was closed-minded and missing the point. I said it was hypocritical to call yourself "christian" if you don't worship Christ and believe in his divinity. He disagreed.

Then I talked to my Dad, who was raised Catholic, taught by nuns with rulers and the whole deal. He agreed with my boyfriend. Said I needed to get over it. That Christianity is larger than the Bible, and has more to do with the community than the details of dogma.

So I e-mailed a dentist friend of mine who was raised Baptist and attended a Christian college. He agreed with my boyfriend and my Dad. Said Jesus "big, take-home message" was "there is no greater love than a man lays down his life for a friend." And that reflected with that minister said on Easter, talking about how shepherds slept with their sheep and literally laid down between potential danger and the sheep. So I thought, "hm, he must know."

Then last week I was discussing this with another Christian friend, who was slack-jawed at the notion that anyone would call themselves Christian without believing that Christ was the Son of God, crucified and resurrected for us. That was MY initial reaction. She was the first person who had responded the same as me.

So then I asked two more people, professional musicians employed in churches. Both responded that they wouldn't really call themselves Christian and didn't really believe that Jesus was the literal son of God. No one in their churches had ever directly asked them about their beliefs, but they both believed that their musical contributions were their connection to the congregation and who-believes-what in dogma didn't matter to the belonging in Christian community.

So here's my question. This is six people I've spoken with. It seems to be NOT discussed in churches, so I'm not gonna ask in my church because I don't want to start anything. But I want a larger survey. So usually I write here to entertain or update the few people who read this, but I'd like actual feedback. If you've got Christian friends, let them know I'm desgerate for input from a wide variety of people, would ya?

I want to know, what are the qualifications of a Christian? Do you have to be baptized? Do you have to believe in the virgin birth? The resurrection? Attend services? Witness for the Lord? Do missionary work?

I don't want meanness or unpleasant arguments. I just want to know what people think. Could ya ask around for me and let me know?

news

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 02:24:43 GMT

I'll be moving back to Princeton next week. I'll be living in a dorm for the first time in eleven years.

The only time I've lived in a dorm is when I was eighteen years old, a student at the Westminster Vocal Institute. Now I'm twenty-nine and a coordinator/assistant conductor at Westminster Institutes. As an undergrad at the University of Delaware, I lived off-campus the whole time, so I've never lived in a dorm for real. Now I'll be back to that lifestyle. I have a feeling that legal access to beer will make it considerably more tolerable. Eating dining hall food will be easier as long as I can fill a thermos with wine to take with me. Who would mind salisbury steak, as long as it can be accompanied by a few ounces of merlot? That's the way I'm trying to look at the whole thing. Salisbury steak, but with merlot.

the process

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 17:06:47 GMT

They don't want people to be teachers. They make it as hard as possible to become one. Setting aside the certification process, which is a nightmare of expensive exams and paperwork, the application process alone is enough to keep people from even bothering.

Every school district wants a cover letter, resume, copy of your certification, copies of your college transcripts, and three letters of recommendation. Most have an application form also, which asks you to write out everything you've already put on your resume. Plus there is fingerprinting and background checking. Is there any other field in which the hiring process is so arduous? Not even being a police officer requires so much paperwork.

And they just expect teachers to jump through all these ridiculous hoops no questions asked. I HATE this system.

underemployed

Wed, 21 Jun 2006 01:31:25 GMT

Since I finished my master's degree, I have worked substitute teaching, singing at churches and (once) on a cruise ship, teaching voice lessons, musical directing community theater, and (honestly) mystery shopping. I have also written an article which has been accepted for publication and reviews which will be published in a book later this year as well as making editions of choral music which will also be published later this year. Not that any of this will result in me being financially solvent. In fact, I am far from financially solvent.

The show I directed is over. The church year is over. The school year is over. That's an enormous portion of my income dried up. I am unemployed and out of money, but I have a master's degree. Which I have to start paying for next month. And I have no money. I spend hours every day looking for work. THAT is my full-time job. It doesn't pay very well.

Poverty sucks.

I knew the day would come

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 00:52:54 GMT

I ran out of money. I have work in July, but I won't get that money until the end of the month. So... between now and my next pay check is several weeks. And I have no money. Yikes.

we few

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 11:54:08 GMT

I know there's only, like, ten people who read this, but in case you're not aware:

http://www.savetheinternet.com/

you've got to be carefully taught

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 13:20:26 GMT

I have successfully trained my new puppy , Thomas, to pee in the house. Here's how I did it: I feed the dog in his crate, then leave him in there a few minutes to digest, then take him outside to do whatever he does and praise him heartily. Then he comes back in the house and plays with Buddy, chews on toys, etc. I watch him closely and plan to take him out every 20 minutes or so. Which I do. Then eventually he starts to wander away from Buddy, or Buddy starts ignoring him... and Thomas squats to piddle in the house, so I say "NO!" and scoop him up and take him outside. He pees there, I prase him heartily, and we go back in. He squats again, piddles again, I scoop again, praise again... this happens repeatedly until I put him in his crate.

He has learned that when he pees in the house, he gets a free trip to the fun, exciting back yard.

In his crate, he tells me when he has to go out. He won't pee in there unless he's about to explode, so he needs me to get him out. And I take him right outside and praise him heartily. Then he comes back in, plays with Buddy until distraction leads him to piddle, I take him outside... and it starts all over.

Pee, praise, play, piddle, scoop, pee, praise, play, piddle, scoop, pee, praise, play, piddle... until I put him in his crate and he naps. I need to learn to put him in there before he piddles, just as he begins to get distracted him his playing. *sigh*

Arrightnevermind

Tue, 13 Jun 2006 12:47:52 GMT

Someone pointed out to me that there were two girls in the row the past two years. Fine. Whatever. I was still right about the end result. :-P

And I've got a new puppy. anagoski.googlepages.com/thomas He's beyond cute but pees a lot. Houstraining takes such dilligence--I'm exhausted from keeping an eye on the puppy--but, happily, he's so pleasant to look at that I'm much more motivated to actually do it. Good old nature, plans so well.

Idol Schmidol

Thu, 25 May 2006 13:54:35 GMT

Have you noticed? American Idol winners have alternated girl-boy-girl-boy each season. Last year was a girl, this year had to be a boy.

I called at the beginning of the season. I thought Paris was clearly the best singer/performer on the show and I said, "it's a shame she's female: she can't win this year."

I called it four weeks ago when Chris was booted off American Idol. He was the best male, so I had been rooting for him. Alas, he was too smart and creative for Americans. So that left Kathryn (who of course was the best remaining singer but female, so she had no chance) and Taylor and Elliot, who was really not any good at all. And so I called it. Taylor would win.

The following week, when Elliot got the boot, I said, "see, I told you. Taylor's gonna win."

Mahlon said, "But Kathryn's a much better singer."

"Well, yes, but she's female."

And it seems to me, when Ryan compared the voting turnout to Presidential voting, someone should have taken a moment to face America and say, "if you can sit on the phone for two hours to vote six times for Taylor, you should get off your ass and vote for a presidential candidate in 2008."

lazylazylazylazylazy

Tue, 23 May 2006 17:52:32 GMT

If I don't get called to substitute teach, I spend my days at home, basically. I work--writing, editing, translating. It's all computer work, paperwork. I have a laptop, so most days I don't need to get out of bed. It's pretty damn fabulous. The dog and I spend HOURS in bed, reading and writing, ostensibly "working," but in my pajamas!

I like it.

the vinci kode

Sat, 20 May 2006 14:52:37 GMT

Thoughts inspired by

So, remember all that hulabaloo about the cartoon in Denmark? And all the Americans said "those Muslims are so stoopid, getting all riled up about a cartoon!" And now so many Christians are all riled up about a movie: a work of fiction never intending to pass itself off as truth, just as interesting. And it was barely that. They're riled 'cause it misses the point of Christianity. They're riled because, they say, some people who read it believe it's true and get the wrong idea. And that's a big deal because BEFORE the book, EVERYONE in the WHOLE WORLD *agreed* on the history and nature of Christianity. Right?

I wish it were a better movie. If it were a really great movie, it would be really successful and piss off more of these doofuses. There might even be riots and burning of movie theaters. Empty ones, hopefully. But if it happened, can you imagine the news clips showing riot footage from Lebanon and Nevada side-by-side? That would be awesome. 'Cause then even the self-righteous "we're better than everybody" Westerners won't be able to deny we're all a-damn-like.

new purse

Sat, 20 May 2006 02:30:04 GMT

I've been shopping for a new purse for about two months. My goal was to spend less than $10 on a big purse with compartments and pockets. When I went shopping for one at Marshall's yesterday, I found a pink linen blouse, a white short-sleeved button down, and a pair of black linen gouchose that make my butt look FABULOUS. But no purse I thought was worth spending money on. I finally gave up the discount search and bought a cute one from QVC for about $30. I told Mahlon I felt successful: it was cute and had far more compartments and pockets than I could find for any less money.

He said, "but it cost you two shirts and a pair of pants."

Hrm. True.

so I'm on the boat...

Wed, 17 May 2006 17:18:00 GMT

It's 2 a.m., right? They stopped serving booze at 1, so I abandoned the deck with all the bars, got into my bathing suit, feeling quite confident with my faux tan and the lack of ambient light, and hop in the hot tub. The hot tub hangs off the side of the ship, so you can see water and the outside of the ship. There was a big rainstorm, even some lightning. But I'm in a metal cage, so it's all good. The really entertaining thing was that the high winds were blowing deck chairs off the boat into the New York harbor. Yep, the went sailing up into the air and plunging into the icy depths like Leonardo DiCaprio in "Titanic."

It was pretty amusing.

freiheit von der seen

Mon, 15 May 2006 15:42:08 GMT

I spent 24 hours aboard the Freedom of the Seas. I sang in the backup choir, a popsong gospel style thing with limited stage movement. And I drank free booze and did Dance Dance Revolution until 3 a.m. I missed the fireworks, though.

In the morning, the Today Show took over the boat. I tried to contribute--they asked that everyone on board serve as the audience screaming in the background--but the other people were so enthusiastic that my sleepy, uninspired presence was a drain. So I went back to my room and watched it on t.v. There was a fashion show and a circus in the middle of the ship outside my window; I watched them on t.v. from my bed. When it was nearly over, I plopped my ass on a bar and drank a Bloody Mary until breakfast.

And they paid me for this. They paid me respectably. I would have done it for half the money mostly because I met fun, smart musicians and walked away with some really great stories. More of those in the future when I need something to write.

a get-rich-quick scheme...

Tue, 09 May 2006 12:29:07 GMT

http://danwho.net/mp/index.php?id=snl_dontbuystuff

If you don't mind taking it as it turns out, it's a fine life.

whew

Sat, 06 May 2006 14:22:25 GMT

I was fast approaching a black hole. I have two gigs next weekend, and then NO plans or sources of income after May 14.

I'll be subbing in June, but that's always up in the air. And after school ends, I REALLY had nothing.

But I got an e-mail this morning providing me with plan and paying work for three weeks in July. Going back to Princeton for the Conducting and Vocal Institutes again this summer. Not good pay, but way better than nothing. Plus it's good experience and great people.

backstage

Thu, 04 May 2006 12:43:24 GMT

In a restaurant, there's a little area where flatware, glasses, cups, sugar, etc. are stored. It's not the kitchen, but it's not visible from the dining room, and serves as its own little space. It's called backstage. Seems likely actors with day jobs waiting tables may have had some influence on that label.

rockin'

Wed, 03 May 2006 16:38:26 GMT

I'm musical director for _Oliver!_ at the Thomaston Opera House. The cast is great, and I have really enjoyed working with them. I'm very proud of our review in the Tomaston Express, which includes the following references to the music: "...we see a cross-section of young performers with talent, energy and magnificent stage presence. The exceptional quality of their musical numbers is fascinating... Janis Clifton as Nancy deserves recognition, especially with her rendition of 'As Long As He Needs Me.'"

I say this not because I take credit for these things--they were all the actors' doing--but because I'm proud of them. I beat on the children to give energy until they bled, to think, focus, and listen. And I badgered poor Janice ceaselessly about "As Long As He Needs Me," polishing and perfecting nuance after petty nuance. And in the end they did it all--and more, with the additional beating and badgering of the rest of the production team.

So, I rock. And they rock. And we rock.

bad liberal

Mon, 01 May 2006 02:21:28 GMT

I feel insufficiently liberal. Someone needs to educate me because I don't understand the liberal perspective on this illegal immigrant issue.

People, particularly Hispanic people, come to America illegally and live under tax-funded police protection.

I get that they suffer to come here. I get that they do jobs Americans think they are too good for.

I don't understand why they expect protection from a government whose laws they are, by their very presence, ignoring. I don't get that their employers can't survive is they hired someone legal for a living wage. If they can't operate and pay workers enough money to live on, isn't that their own problem? Am I an inconsiderate cretin? I feel rotten, but I don't get it!

I would like to live in Canada. They have universal health care and I want health care. My brother lives there. So can I just go move in with my brother, get a job under the table and demand health care? If I really wanted it, I would apply through the process that are in place for legal citizenship application. You can become a citizen of the US legally... it's a hassel, sure, but so is walking across the desert for two weeks.

I wish I understood why I'm supposed to believe that it's the government's job to protect people who break the law to come here and business who break the law to employ people who break the law to come here.

turn around

Wed, 26 Apr 2006 11:14:24 GMT

Well, yesterday sucked. I was subbing for middle school music. It was my third day in the school and the kids had figured out that it was fun to do nothing they were supposed to and make my life difficult. The teacher I was subbing for had no class last period, so I left as soon as I was done, an hour before the school day ended. On my way home, I decided to call the district and tell them I wouldn't go back. The principal called me. To tell me I had done two things wrong and that it "wasn't procedure" to leave before the day is over. This kind of crap is exactly why I don't teach full-time any more. Administrators supporting asshole students and giving no back-up to teachers. What a jerk. And I felt terrible all night because I don't have a real day job and I don't want to teach and I can't find anything better...

Then this morning I got an e-mail telling me I'm hired to sing in a choir for a one-time performance for the inaugural cruise of a ship in the Royal Caribbean line--the one with the on-board surfing they show on t.v. One rehearsal, then I show up on the cruise, sing the song, spent the night on the boat, then be on my way. It's not the kind of gig that leads to a career, but it's a gig. A good gig. For a professional musician. And now I feel significantly better. It will end up paying the same amount as subbing per day, but they will be much more enjoyable days with much smarter (if not nicer) people.

youth in asia

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 19:13:11 GMT

When we woke up Saturday morning, Mahlon's 15 year old cat couldn't walk. She was paralyzed from the middle back. We got her to the vet as soon as possible. He showed us an x-ray of her spine, from which a disc was missing. Bone touched bone and probably damaged nerves, causing paralysis and numbness even in her digestive system, which was no longer finishing it its job. The first option was steroids, the second was surgery.

We put her on the steroids Saturday and Sunday, and all she regained was a little motion in one leg. She still couldn't control her bladder or anus. The $1000 operation may or may not fix the problem, and even if it did, what quality of life could she have and for how much longer? Mahlon took her in this morning. The vet agreed; she hadn't made any signficant improvement. The surgery was an option, but...

She was awake and feisty, but her body had failed and would soon become toxic to her brain. So they put her to sleep. It's sad, however informed.

friends

Sun, 23 Apr 2006 13:52:46 GMT

I'm on friendster and facebook. I got on friendster when the band director at the school where I used to teach got me into it. And I got on facebook because I was in grad school. And the funny thing about my "friends" that officially linked to me on these sites is that many of them are musicians. Highly-trained, professional musicians. So, like my picture here on live journal is one of the less useful of my headshots, an uncanny number of my friends also have headshots as their photos online.

Broketoe Bedtime

Thu, 20 Apr 2006 04:38:14 GMT

Arright, I watched bonus features on Brokeback Mountain. Ang Lee explained that Brokeback Mountain is a symbol for something that draws you back again and again. So, symbolism. Right. Okay. And an interesting story. But I don't see what all the hubbub is about.

It definitely wouldn't have won academy awards if it didn't have two hot guys making out.

And my toe now has a Scooby Doo bandage on it. It stopped throbbing several hours ago, but I put on socks with my pajamas so I don't wrench it in the night.

broke toe

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 18:16:25 GMT

So, we're getting a new roof on the house. The guys are outside banging around and playing the radio really loudly. Inside, I'm sitting watching Brokeback Mountain on DVD. When it was over, I got up to take my plate (I eat while I am entertained) into the kitchen. On my way, I kicked a tile sample which was sitting in the doorway, breaking my toe and creating a bloody gash down the middle.

Broke toe. Ha.

Mon, 10 Apr 2006 15:27:58 GMT

I'd like to build my voice studio, so I've decided to advertize in the local paper.

Voice Teacher now accepting students. Local, experienced. Focus on vocal health. Call Amelia, ###-9445. anagoski.googlepages.com

Mahlon says lots of people read that paper, so maybe it will be a healthy investment in the future. Here's hopin'...